17 June 2008

this moment's beauty is blinding and unsurpassed

well folks. this is a tale of two weddings. one of a close friend and one of someone i don't even know.

i don't cry easily. i used to, but the fountains have been turned off and have yet to be turned back on. so when i saw the wedding of the former and i didn't squeeze out a tear like i thought i might, i wasn't quite surprised. it was beautiful, and was told in the language of a culture i don't really know, but i do like their food. and they love to dance. so that was fun. it was just a fun wedding full of laughs and smiles, but no tears of joy. the bride did choke up twice, but that was the closet i saw/heard to tears. however, not to invalidate the ceremony at all, i'm glad that they have found each other, but it wasn't an earth shattering experience. it was very fitting to the time and the moment. a grand ol' party to celebrate two families merging. that's nice. very nice. and i'm happy for her.

the latter comes to us via the san francisco chronicle. in case you were in a cave for the past month, and hey, who isn't from time to time, then you know california is now the 2nd state in the nation to allow same sex marriages to be legal. today was the first full day of celebration and plenty of people on both sides of the issue showed up and bombarded city halls up and down the lower 1/2 of the west coast of the us of a.

the sf chronicle has a profile online of some of the people getting married today. it's not quite the nytimes society caliber of wedding announcements, but i do believe instead of the times oozing pretention, this one was much more laid back and more sincere in its efforts to show the profiles of people getting married today. they had the requisite media gay couples. i don't mean that to sound catty, but rather literal in that two of those couples were plaintiffs in what would turn out to be the landmark decision handed down by the CASC a month ago. they are always front and center for gay events, and the few times i've been in the pride march, i've met the (male) couple. they are really nice and are always dressed in their tuxes. i guess that shows they are serious about being taken seriously? i don't know. anyway, the female couple i haven't heard of much less met. jezebel posted a pic of them and that was the first time tears sprang to my eyes in months. i have a few ideas why, but just to see the love that is oozing sincerely through that pic onto the LED pixels of my monitor was just enough to make me think: FUCKING FINALLY!! the other part of me was thinking that how can people who are against same sex marriage be so mean (to put it childishly)? to see this couple who undeniably love each other so much that it just shows on their faces and their eyes aren't even open, how could anyone deny them the happiness they desire? the other part of me that welled up knew what it was like to feel that love at one point in my life. to have a picture taken just at the right moment, when your eyes are locked in the other's, totally oblivious to what is going on, huge chomping smiles on both of your faces. i feel lucky to have felt that at all in my young life, and i wouldn't want others to try to tell me what i can and cannot do with the person i love.

one story in particular got me to the point where tears were rolling down my face. this was after reading about 20 profiles. two men who have been together for 13 years had this to say to the chronicle:

The men have a 17-year-old daughter. "I've always told her I would marry her father the first minute I could and that's today at 8:30 a.m.," Akin said. "I've heard people say this is the happiest day of your life, and it is -- until tomorrow."

jeebuuuuussss. how could anyone with a beating heart not find that just at least the little bit touching? that was so beautiful, if totally cheesy, but this time i'm not lactose intolerant. i'm taking it in for the beautiful sentiment that it really is.

and, all of this is rather ironic for me since i'm not a fan of the institution of marriage. however, a lifehacker blogger who got married today had this to say, which i utterly respect from one woman to another:

"For the record, I *know* that marriage is a lame institution rooted in religion (I'm an atheist) and patriarchy. BUT, my parents had a great marriage—I watched my Dad come home from work and kiss my Mom hello every evening 34 years into it, genuinely happy to see her—and I wanted that same thing with Terra. (And that's IT—as mushy as I'm getting! Shutting up now!)"

i say redefining marriage can't be a bad thing. look at how well it's been up until now. it can only get better.

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