20 December 2008


Trying to send pics from phone to blog.

[updated] i guess it worked. nice. this is the beginning of the hat i'm making for the boo's family's baby. i shall call her baby A from now on. anyway, i wish the iphone had a better lens b/c it does not quite capture how friggin cute this hat is.

a note about knitting. the BIG ex taught me how to knit. i haven't been knitting for the past few years, quite possibly because of the memories, and also because i don't live in nyc anymore and it's just not ever that cold to constantly churn out more product.

while picking it up again, i realized something simple. knitting makes me calm. as the biking has unfortunately been set aside because the rain falls like needles piercing my face, at least i can fall back on these wooden needles to make me feel what some may call "normal." but i prefer to call it a rare moment of non-anxious, non-low feeling of steady. if you get what i mean, then good for you. if you don't, well, that's simply the best way i can describe it.

15 December 2008

what's love got to do, got to do with it?

a lot apparently. yesterday i was hanging out with the boo, el macho. we had done a lot of errands like buying his family gifts, and i was looking our for things to make for presents. all of this was during the downpour that more likely than not has started the california rainy season.

we settled in for the night and were excited with our wrapping presents, wine, football, and two movies we had in the dvd player. i had also promised him a back masasage since his work moved offices and "forgot"/"didn't" hire any helpers. while giving him the massage, i saw a thing that i didn't necessarily want to ever see in my life. however, i saw it, was pretty disgusted, shook my head, and then continued on with the massage. i wish i could say what it was, but i'll just have to leave it at that for the gentle eyes of my readers. believe me, if you knew it, you will also think that you could go on living the rest of your life without knowing what i saw.

anyway. so i guess, ms. turner, love does have a lot to do with it, it turns out. and a few hours ago as we both blinked at each other through crusty morning eyes, i looked past the imperfections, saw his pretty brown eyes, blinked back, and said "i love you."

10 December 2008

prezzie prezzies

so tis that time, right? so the boo, el macho, comes from a family. yeah, most of us do (i am fully aware some of us don't) and i think we are all grateful for that whether or not we realize it. i happen to be grateful for my familia since some of mine are now gone. sometimes i can't express that though. that's just because i don't like to talk much. but that's another subject for another post.

anyway, his family has a baby. yeah, most latino families do, right? so, the baby is about 8 months old. question is...do i make her a blankey or a hat? i have enough (read: A LOT of) yarn for a pretty blankey. i def have enough yarn for a hat. maybe i'll make both. we'll see. i haven't knitted in awhile. however, times a tickin'...

am searching the databases as we speak...

speaking of databases and familias, i'm looking online in the texas databases for granmma texican and the like. yay for free, and then yay for the best catalog for texas genalogy of which i'll have the fortunate opportunity to search in a couple of weeks.

03 December 2008

I just can't help myself

but damn, these kiddos are just too cuuuuuute! and they love to sleep.

01 December 2008

newish video

on a completely unrelated note, it's nice to be back on land and out of an airport.


Testing. Downloaded new app from app store. Possible to blog from phone without it crashing my mobile safari? That would be nice...

Posted by ShoZu

23 November 2008

bike and bussing it...

the site LA girls are at it again! sssheck it out...cause sometimes you have to be multi-modal, as they say. i used to bike to caltrain on the way to palo alto, and sometimes you just need to take the damn bus.

19 November 2008

CA Supreme Court to hear Prop 8 cases

from the LA Times (cause the SF chronicle is, well, poop.)

"The California Supreme Court has agreed to hear a challenge to Proposition 8, the ballot measure approved earlier this month that banned same-sex marriage. But it also denied a request to put the ban on hold until it considers the challenge.

"From the court:
The California Supreme Court today denied requests to stay the enforcement or implementation of Proposition 8, and at the same time agreed to decide several issues arising out of the passage of Proposition 8. The court’s order, issued in the first three cases that had been filed directly in the state’s highest court challenging the validity of Proposition 8, directed the parties to brief and argue three issues:
  1. Is Proposition 8 invalid because it constitutes a revision of, rather than an amendment to, the California Constitution?
  2. Does Proposition 8 violate the separation-of-powers doctrine under the California Constitution?
  3. If Proposition 8 is not unconstitutional, what is its effect, if any, on the marriages of same-sex couples performed before the adoption of Proposition 8?"

The Times Maura Dolan will have a full story soon."

i'll be waiting with bated breath...

the indignity of commuting by bike: people steal things

so i haven't owned a car in about 10 years. thanks to living in highly dense urban areas in those 10 years, i haven't needed one. i've had a bike for about 8 of those 10 years. while living in brooklyn, the bike was great. i didn't use it to commute to the city, but the SO and i would take ours out on excursions to coney island, upper west side, lower east side, williamsburg, park slope, prospect park loop, central park loop, bars, etc. i think you get the idea. anyway, it was living in SF where i decided to start using the bike as my mode of getting to work because, goddamn(!!), the MUNI sucks mad culo when compared to the subway. and even so, the subway is not all that efficient. since i'm not in nyc at the moment, that's not really my problem. ennnywayse....

so my bike is my "car." i hate to use that word in connection with such a clean way of getting around. and like when people get shit stolen from their car, i got mad/felt a little violated when someone stole my bike light the other night while bici was relaxing outside after a long park in a garage somewhere in the the SF financial district. i usually take my bike light off, but i think i got spoiled by parking in a garage full of office cube types who have their own bike light/can afford to buy their own/are easily traceable due to their obsessive commuting. so, i haven't had to worry about it for the past few months. and due to the time change, i really need that damn light when i go home. cause it's dark, i'm brown, i like to wear black and i want drivers to see me.

so i had to get another light. and i did. and i have to say, knog must know what it's like to be an urban commuter.

when i got my first bike light for bici, i had to have the boo, el macho, put it on bici. my handlebars must be thinner than the standard one (to accommodate my little girly hands) and i had trouble putting it on myself. so the 1/2 girl in me batted my eyelashes and jussslikethat, i had a bike light mount securely on my handlebars.

but this time, i decided i wanted to be a little more self sufficient, so i went to a LBS (not my usual one, but one nonetheless), and looked around a bit. i really did like my first bike light and i'm reluctant to accept change in general, so i was more than a little perturbed to find that my bike light was not in stock and would take a week to get in. nope. i was already riding in the dark for a week, and that was a little scary to me. so, i took a deep breath and looked around. to my pleasant surprise, i found a bike light that cost a little bit more than my old one, BUT, i can take it off everyday very easily and it doesn't slip on the handlebars. wanna see it? here it is. i'm sure you can guess the color by the description of myself earlier in the post.

i already have a benign hipster cyst on my seat post (in pink, just for fun), so i was familiar with the brand and the easy to use quality it entails. i never take that light off the back, but it also is cheap compared to the front headlight. but since they are pretty ubiquitous, and even the most hard up bike thief living in SF can probably find 10 bucks in their crusty old pockets.

so yeah, what did i do today on the light's maiden voyage to the aforementioned financial district garage? yup. i left it on bici. i went during lunch to retrieve it, and it was there. phew. you better believe i won't forget it from now on.

and yes, i totally shamelessly stole the title from bike snob. he's a clever one (btw, the generanalyzer thinks he's a she). i have no idea why since his tone seems like quite the male. but there ya go. whatever.

17 November 2008

another day, another writ petition

so yet another organization i used to work for, equal rights advocates, has filed a writ petition with the CA supreme court.

see the petition here.

they filed this petition along with the california women's law center. here are some choice quotes from their joint press release. again, features a great legal hero of mine, irma herrera. She's the executive director of ERA (and another calitexican...):

"There was a time when women couldn't own property, couldn't vote, and were excluded from equal opportunities in education. If these had been up for a public vote we still might not have them," said Irma Herrera, Executive Director of Equal Rights Advocates. "Our Constitution protects women and minorities from having our basic civil rights stripped away so easily as they could be with Proposition 8. For the Constitution to have any meaning, core principles such as equal protection can't be up for grabs in every election."

amen hermana.

"Proposition 8 opens the door wide open for future majorities to change the Constitution to deny equal treatment to any group they don't like," said Katie Buckland, Executive Director of CWLC. "If Proposition 8 is allowed to stand, the equal protection of our state Constitution will be practically meaningless, promising only that minorities are protected from unfair majority intrustion until the majority says otherwise."

sigh. that's kind of a bleak prospect, but definitely very true. there it is in black and white people.

i took video at the rally/march at the SF demonstration on saturday. i will be posting it in the next couple of days. stay tuned.

14 November 2008

equal justice society rocks my socks

EJS is a place i used to work. they do good work, check it out. i've also written for a few of their newsletters.

they joined up with their usual collaborative team members to file a writ petition to the california supreme court. these members include the mexican american legal defense and educational fund (MALDEF), CA's chapter of the NAACP, the NAACP legal education and defense fund and the asian pacific american legal center. looks like tobias wolff, legal scholar extrodinare and member of the EJS board from UPENN law school was mainly responsible for the writing of the petition.

yup, yup. here is the press release. go keith! and this part is the part that resonates with me so strongly. not only do i have a personal interest in seeing the passage of prop 8 be reversed and set on fire, but also if they do this to one group, who is to say they wont start taking away the rights of other minorities over which so much blood has been shed and resentment set in? honestly, this fight is just bigger than one can conceivably say in one sentence. Karen Wang is my new hero:

"Consistent with core equal protection principles, minority communities must not be stripped of their fundamental rights by bare majority rule," said Karin Wang, Vice-President of Programs for the Asian Pacific American Legal Center. "California went down this path before when the majority population chose to bar interracial marriages involving an unpopular minority: Asian immigrants. The state Constitution exists exactly for this reason - to protect the fundamental rights of minority communities."

and simply put...

"Direct democracy cannot override the California Constitution, which requires more than a majority vote to deprive a minority group of their fundamental rights," said John A. Payton, President and Director-Counsel of the NAACP Legal Defense Fund.

right on. and to go out with a BANG!, here is my favie fav...eva patterson:

"We would be making a grave mistake to view Proposition 8 as just affecting the LGBT community," said Eva Paterson, president of the Equal Justice Society. "If the Supreme Court allows Proposition 8 to take effect, it would represent a threat to the rights of people of color and all minorities."


ew. prop 8 is getting pretty ugly...

ok, now we all know i'm pretty vehemently AGAINST prop 8. and i'm actually pretty much against marriage too. but who am i to say that two people can't get divorced if they want to?

keith oberman had some nice comments to say about prop 8 passing. namely that he can't believe it passed.

then i read this sensational headline in the LA times today. ugh: "L.A. Mormon temple closed after a suspicious envelope arrives in mail." are you fucking kidding me?! i'm cynical enough tto believe in two scenarios. both involve stupid people doing stupid things. one, the more "obvious" one is that some angry anti-prop 8 person did this. the second, and i believe more plausible explaination is that someone took advantage of the situation of it being trendy to kinda really hate the mormon church at the moment and decided to bring some attention their way. ugh. grow. the. fuck. up. moving on...

now this is something i can get behind. people are now protesting and boycotting establishments whose owners supported prop 8. in order to donate, you have to put down your occupation, name, and other identifying information. if you felt strongly enough to donate to support prop 8, then i also strongly feel that you should be prepared to deal with the consequences. maybe it's because the texican taught me that at a young age by boycotting grapes. new era, new cause, same tactics. money talks as they say. and i bet it even screams louder now that the economy is going to shit.

12 November 2008

gender, eh?

i've always said i'm 1/2 dude even if my outsides happen to reflect i'm 100% chick. i've always felt that way, and i even hated dresses when i was little. i still kind of do, but i'll squeeze into one every now and then for the right occassion. i even have the pictures to prove it.

anyway, so when guanabee was like, hey you, check out the genderanalyzer, why i just had to. what did i find out? they think i'm 69% (for real, it's not a made up number) dude: RESULTS: We think http://calitexican.blogspot.com is written by a man (69%).

but how do i tell them they aren't quite right, but not quite wrong?

11 November 2008

finally! california speaks well about texas... i am in (ess)shock

indeed, as i've long known (since i was able to put together a coherent sentence), texas is not a pure red state. too bad the results from many an election and laws currently enacted prove otherwise. but, really, what do they prove? that old conservative white men, and recently, white women were/are in power? are you really surprised by that? that they were the majority and wrote laws to protect themselves? again, are you really surprised by that? well, as i've again long known being born to a tejana of at least two generations and a tejano of possibly three, we're rising. and for once, we think our voice can actually matter. its written in our spiritual history; it was bound to happen.

and finally! someone from california has the insight NOT to just spew rhetoric about texas they've heard, seen and studied. but have never visited. and that is crucial in talking about something you "know" about. just like californians surprised the US by voting for prop 8, i wasn't surprised. just because we may have two of the most liberal cities in the US within the border, we also have a large voice that goes largely unheard or ignored. and the EXACT flipside is true for texas. besides, it's more fun to make fun of texas, right? or because it's more socially acceptable not to question california's status of a fertile breeding ground for all things progressive.

so i strongly applaud you LA times for writing this story.

even the nytimes has some sort of similar story. you just have to dig at it a bit. i took a picture of the nytimes map that shows how the elctorate differed from 4 years ago. they made it very simple, if you voted more blue, the deeper the hue. if you notice, most of the US voted bluer. and texas...well, i'll let the picture speak for itself. (when i put it up that is...it's at home and i am not.)

true results and reform is just on the horizon. i can feel it. and it makes me feel like a teenager anew with hope and possibilty that my home state can overcome prejudices far and wide to truly reflect what goes on inside its borders. of course it's not all fairy tales and lollipops in texas. but it is better than what most people i've talked to on the east and west coasts think. it really is. just visit it and you'll see. i promise. shit, even i was surprised. san antonio went blue. like on the actual day. such a strong military town went blue? even my prejudices were tested. i'm a fan of breaking down preconceived notions. and i'm proud to say i'm from texas. always was, always will be.

living in california right now though...i'm disappointed. yup, i am.

08 November 2008


just wow. this has been a really crazy week. we've created meaningful history in both the best sense and the worst.

obviously, you may have heard by now that barack obama is now president-elect of the united states. there was not a dry eye in SF and that includes my boo, el macho.

here's a cute video of three blocks north from where i celebrating myself:

no snark, just pure joy.

and then california voters decided that the rights of animals and teenagers were more important than gay marriage. yes, all are important. ALL are. i've talked so much about this subject this past week, i've read a lot about it online, i've read the writ petition, i've been angry, i've cried, and i just don't know what else to add to the discussion at the moment. i'm exhausted. mentally and physically.

yesterday i briefly attended the march. i got overwhelmed with emotion, i was crying and walking in the streets.

this weekend it's time to rest. revel in our global victory, revolt in the hate that voters approved (if only narrowly).

i'll end on this note. i sent an email to my mom on 11/3/08. i had just gotten off an election protection night shift, and i was too excited to sleep. i had another election protection shift at 5:30am, so i really needed to sleep. visions of democracy were bouncing around in my head...i grabbed my iphone and typed out the email. forgive the typos, but they are staying:

"I know it sounds cheesy, but I can't sleep because I'm so excited for tomorrow in our great nation's history. I feel like I'm witnessing, living and changing history that will be remembered for decades to come. Even if something awful happens and the democrats don't win and prop 8 passes, I know I could not have done more to help try to become the change that in which I believe. I will be able to sleep at night both satisfied with my efforts and fired up to become the change we all so desperately need.

"As I'm phone banking and manning hotlines, waiting in line to vote, I can hear the voices and indeed actual stories of people who never before believed they had a voice or that their vote mattered. In line to vote there was a black man yr age that had never voted before. Tonight I heard the story of an early election ballot go haywire to him finally voting, only then to have the clerk confess to the voter that his county is allowed a 1% attrition rate. Phone banking helped me realized that people may agree with a cause, but that the proposition as written is so counter-intuitive that it can mess up even the best of intentions.

"I often laugh at the phrase "this is a really critical time" in part because life always is and when you say that, it only dilutes the message you wish to send. But right now really is a critical time. We are at wars for causes that are both tangible and intangible. We are simultaneously experiencing the worst economic crisis of my relatively short lifetime. We in California can set the stage for what is undoubtably the inevitsble next civil rights challenge. We can try to steer the boat around tomorrow. And I'm glad I can do what i can to help.

"I may not agree with the pro prop 8 people, but I also think it's foolish for people to take their signs away. That really disturbs me. But first amendment rights we can discuss on the 5th. Tomorrow is all about elction rights and protection. Even for those republicans and homophobic people.

And on that note, good night :)"

28 October 2008

texas, interrupted

it looks like even texas is greatly divided in the presidential election. my great home state seems to have strayed from its generally blindingly loyalty to the republicans and have done something rather strange. many of the major newspapers are endorsing obama. don't get me wrong, it seems they mostly are still endorsing mccain, but it's rather closer than one would think.

this info is from a blog from the houston chronicle:

SEVEN are endorsing obama:
  • Austin American-Statesman
  • The Eagle (Bryan-College Station)
  • Fort Worth Star-Telegram
  • Houston Chronicle
  • Longview News-Journal
  • The Lufkin Daily News
  • San Angelo Standard-Times

eleven are for mccain:

  • Amarillo Globe-News
  • Beaumont Enterprise
  • Corpus Christi Caller-Times
  • Dallas Morning News
  • The Galveston County Daily News
  • Kerrville Daily Times
  • The Lubbock Avalanche-Journal
  • New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung
  • San Antonio Express-News
  • Times Record News (Wichita Falls)
  • Tyler Morning Telegraph

two are undecided:

  • Abilene Reporter-News
  • Waco Tribune Herald

i'm really shocked about the fort worth endorsement. that is a red county in a red state. home of the rodeo and many vaqueros & cowboys. not as wealthy as dallas...etc, etc. i heard one of the members of the editorial board on npr while i was at work today, and i was pleasantly surprised. i was even more surprised when the radio show host asked the editors of the new endorsements if their endorsements were pro-candidate or anti-candidate. the fort worth editor said it was definitely a pro-obama vote and not anti-mccain.

hmm, very interesting. i know it's not going to change how texas votes overall, but it does give me hope that even the red state of red states is questioning what is the best choice for this country, even if that choice goes against the long-standing tradition of voting republican. so then maybe those in the swing states who traditionally are barely republican will start to swing the pendulum the other way.

and in other good news, i finally got my voter information in the mail. i was starting to get worried despite the fact that i had turned in my updated voter registration information about a month ago, well ahead of the deadline. how ironic it would be that i'm volunteering for election protection, and this person wouldn't even be able to vote. thankfully, that is no longer the case and i can get trained tonight knowing i don't have to worry about myself. i too have the right, and now the means, to vote. tonight is hotline training. i will be sitting for an actual shift on saturday after halloween. i wish i had thought of this before, but prop 8 is (hopefully) a once in a lifetime campaign, and voter protection issues unfortunately will be with us for every foreseeable election. lots of time in the future to help out. and depending on the below, i will be signing up again for probably the 3rd and the 4th EARLY in the morning.

i did sign up to see if the obama campaign will send me out to swing states to monitor polling places. it may be too late to join the "world's biggest law firm," (if only for a day), but i can certainly try. we all know they have lots and lots of money to send people out. let's see if i can squeeze in.

if not, never fear, i will be (wo?)manning the phones. the director of the nonpartisan election protection was also on npr today. they also managed to make it into the city blogs over on the nytimes this morning. of course i can't find the article now. grrrrrrr. and they have been in the paper in the recent past apparently.

it did occur to me on my own that maybe working with a nonpartisan organization is the best way to affect change. i highly respect the lawyers committee for civil rights, and once i saw these two orgs were affiliated, i knew that this is where i had to be. i start my training in less than an hour. i'm excited and nervous at the same time. more excited than nervous though :)

btw, the number is 866-OUR-VOTE or 866-687-8683.

sit tight, and i'll share the news i get tonight.

23 October 2008

the world is starting to turn...

ok, so i agree that bloomberg has been a very respectable mayor as far as thankless jobs go. from my lowly seat over here in norcal, i see positive things he's done. but a third term? even i think that's something which to abhor.

i'll elaborate in a bit, but now have some tejas familia to hug.

tsk,tsk. it's not like he's FDR or something. just a billionaire. who seems nice enough.

22 October 2008

marching on castro

today i volunteered at no on 8. it's a rather warm day here in the yay, and there was lots of body heat going on upstairs in the no on 8 HQ. so, towards the end of our shift, one staff person rang a bell repeatedly, and somehow got all the noise to cease a bit. she ordered us to get UP, get out of our chairs, grab some posters, stickers, etc, and go outside.

we just happened to be in probably the best neighborhood in the country for supporting the cause. we went on, as i like to call it, the happiest protest ever. everyone was smiling, chanting, putting stickers on people on the sidewalks, giving people signs, causing minor traffic snarls. but the cars didn't mind. they were honking, encouraging us, and it was great.

as great as that was, i know that we were preaching to the choir so to speak. the people we needed to be talking to are out there, eating & watching tv, oblivious to us and our cause. we need to talk to them. even the wall street journal is talking about how we're falling behind.

anyway, the walk in the rarely muggy SF air gave us all the last little pep we needed. we returned to our seats, energized, talking about the chants and how good it felt to be here and to be accepted. we had lots of cheers from the restaurants, clubs and people walking around.

people were filming it, but they weren't "the" media. i wonder if it will go in some sort of online scrapbook? we'll see. i'm famous! ha, ok, not at all.

NO on 8...spread the word. oh, and donate water if you can. kthxbai.

18 October 2008

death proof

oh my god. i think i've spoken about my love of death proof before. but man, this movie is great. zoe bell. have a great friend crush on her. and...she's wearing black chucks in the movie too. those are quite possibly the best shoes ever invented.

will discuss more later. off to here.

16 October 2008

latino leaders speak out on NO for 8

this press conference took place in east LA. yay. :) to quote monica garcia, "familia is familia."

14 October 2008

how to buy a bike with pilar and dorothy

this is a cute little series of videos i found from the siteLA artists in residence. i have talked about my friend crush on pilar before, and now its only intensified as she goes bike shopping. :)

the videos are super basic as she's looking for her first bike ever, but of course, very useful in breaking down what can be an overwhelming set of choices. dorothy is the bike advocate in residence for siteLA and guides pilar through the process.

now only if they could do a series of videos of trying to buy a used mixte from craigslist....

here they are, there are 3, and i think the final one has yet to be posted on their page. oh, and pilar's song that i'm nuts about is the soundtrack to the videos.

13 October 2008

08 October 2008


now for something much less serious.

this makes me smile. my dream bike. MIXTE! fine tuned. new. shiny. cork. pretty. color. only improvement i would make: single speed. ok, and put on wood fenders and a rack. dreeeeeeemeeeeee. :)

and, um, seeing tim gunn on a tandem bike on project runway was awesome. :) yay tim! he looked like he was having so much fun.

and my bici got a much needed, 4-yr-in-the-making tune up. and bath! bonita! feels like a whole new bike. going over potholes, while never pleasant, is now much much more bearable. and the brakes? um, so much SAFER than what i was rolling with before. sheesh. :) no more loose headset. no rattling on the bike. makes me wonder why i didn't notice that was a bad sound in the first place. and b/c i was riding on a better bike that i had been familiar with, let's just say i finally started smoking people up on the steep hills. left them in my dust. it was nice. must be said. and w/ minimal effort. go me.

wha happen

yeah people. what's going on today? i don't feel like writing, and the world outside my brain seems to be going to hell. that is, whenever i check out of the brain that's what it feels like.

and, as if you are, like, surprised or something, the global electoral college has voted. and guess who won? maybe we should split up the US into four countries. each coast be one, so that's two. the inbetween states and then....texas. we like to be our own thing, thank you very much.

and this also caught my eye. the national debt clock ran out of digits. interesting. but whose fault is it really? it would be popular to just blame the bush administration, but even they could not fuck up things this bad. certainly they did not help at all, AT ALL. as an avid reader of history, it just seems that things in life, no matter what, ebb and flow, go up and down. it's a few generations after the great depression, maybe it's just the natural flow of things. testing theories, getting greedy, facing consequences. we're acting like little kids, or early twenty-somethings freed from parental rules and regulations. and now we've all been sent to time out.

and as i'm thinking this, lookie here, why gollee, the nytimes agrees with me. except they can tell you the financial history, whereas i can't. they've even given it a cute, yet foreboding name: the reckoning.

remember back in the day greenspan was hailed as this great intellectual and that everyone wanted to be a fly on the wall when he and clinton got together? well, maybe that's even more true now. clinton was a big fan of his deregulation. a precious gem tucked neatly away on the second page of the article? "mr. greenspan declined requests for an interview."

also, now that myself, my potential kin and their potential kin are in debt way past our inherited 60 inch frame, cindy sheehan now has some momentum in her campaign. but it's not for what she's done, but rather what nancy pelosi is the poster child for. ugh. $700 billion dollars is all it takes for us to become socialists for capitalists only? i'm sorry, but fuuuuuuuuuuuuck that.

and as i am in debt past my future generation's 120 inches, i decided to volunteer to vote NO on prop 8. if you are in better financial status that me and my eggs, pleasepleaseplease DONATE to the cause. why should we let a bunch of religious people who don't really even live in california tell us what to do? we've (my eggs and i) been fighting against people telling us what to do ever since we left the womb. sometimes that works in our favor, sometimes not. i just don't get the big deal about letting people who want to get married get effin' married already. ugh. if they aren't bothering you, why do you care?

eh, don't feel like getting into a long conversation with myself about it. i'll leave that to you.

good night, and here's to a better tomorrow.

oh yeah, and AIG, give us our money back please. thank you.

24 September 2008

the kiddos

it's been awhile! moving, looking for a place, changing jobs, then no internet...ay dios mio. things have been more than a little crazy for the past 7 weeks or so. but now they are starting to resemble something that could MAYBE be called a routine.

in this new "routine" (for lack of a better word) comes two cats. i am allergic to cats. not as severely as some people, but they certainly do affect me. then i caught a nasty cold for about 10 days and the cats were NOT helping w/ the recovery. i was even off my bike for those 10 days. how awful! that's when you know i'm not feeling well.

now i'm better. and now i'm falling in love w/ one of the kitties, meow meow. it was slowly but surely. at first i pushed her away, fearing itchy eyes and a stuffy nose. then i couldn't resist her cute little face and her welcoming, and jittery, personality. now she sleeps on me, licks my arm, and looks at me and pushes her little teeny head into my hands and paws into my belly. it's love, and i think it's mutual. last night i passed out on the couch and when i woke up, she was resting right next to me. aww, how effin' cute.

here's a pic...her adorable face is in my hand.

this is all weird to me because i adore dogs. ADORE them. but, i guess i have enough room up in here for both. :)

that's it for now. have a good night!

19 August 2008


the past three weeks have been extremely stressful in various ways. mostly having to do with moving out of my current place and moving in...i have no idea where.

feeling pulled in many ways, i've retreated into myself. it's more comfortable there.

last night i had a grounding conversation with my most sensible-advice-giving friend. she said something i've thought before and have talked about MANY times with someone else. i just haven't really talked about it with friends.

she told me about this conversation she had with someone that "gets" her, the subject of which really struck me at my core. she always seems to know how to calm me down. sure enough, our walk up and down the hills of noe helped not only our asses, but also helped calm my anxiety. then this conversation happened while we watched olympics and drank some white wine. helped set the mood to calm and open.

i can't and wont accurately convey what she said, she was much more eloquent than i feel i can me at the present moment. basically, it goes like this. once you take the time to get to know someone, let someone in, have them let you in, and then maybe something negative externally interferes. you want to walk away with that person knowing you were genuine. that you have a good heart. that you aren't a monster. the outside circumstances may lead that person to think differently. but that is not, never is and never was true. genuine i am.

this sentiment is not extended just for lp/rl (those are ongoing desires i've realized), but rather to a person i feel i wasn't able to support this weekend. i feel just awful about it, but there is nothing i can do about it now. she knows i care deeply about her/her friendship, and i just want her to be happy. she's rather defensive in general and she's hurting, so she may not realize it now. i dont know because she's not calling me back. and that's the thing that pains me. to have her think i wasn't genuine. however, there is only so much i can do, and i feel i've done it. not overextended either because i have my own shit going on. my habitat is threatened, i'm looking for shelter. that is my primary primal concern. why i feel like it makes me a bad friend perhaps only being socialized a female can tell me. no one would tell a man to feel bad that he couldn't be there for his "bro" when he himself is looking for housing. they would say, "naw, dude, it's cool," or something to that effect.

another thing with this anxiety of moving has drastically altered is my appetite. i just now realized i haven't eaten dinner. it's late and time for bed. i'll be famished in the morning, indeed ready to break the fast.

and on that note, good night.

06 August 2008

a sista's gotta keep one eye open

said one of the contestants from tonight's all new project runway. indeed, chica, indeed. yes, i watch what happens.

and with that in mind, i have one eye closed, looking inside, and another eye on the future.

currently on the market: a blue mixte bike. my size. i wish!!! however, for my viewing pleasure and real budget, i must be content with something else. so i present you with my ideal mixte. the single speed, the bullhorns. swooooon. it's like looking at your favorite crush/celebrity/outfit/meal. it is absolutely GORGEOUS. why they shot it against that damn ugly fence, i don't know.

oh, and with my one eye on the rest of the real world, i've been noticing lately that i've seen quite a few individuals that have been on this earth a few more decades than myself riding their bikes. and these people are very interesting to me. why? because they are always smiling. and not just the smile and the nod and are on their way thank you very much, but rather a full on constant smile with teeth showing. and staring straight ahead, smiling, and riding slow and steady through the sunlight. it's really cute to observe, and it makes me happy to see someone simply and throughly enjoying themselves. i wonder what they are thinking. why they are smiling. do they feel like they are 5 again, winning their first fast independence from mom and dad? are they happy because they like the wind in their grey hair, the sun reflecting off their light clothes? happy because they have nothing to do and are out for a ride, going to work, going to meet a friend?

whatever it is, they are all so pleasant, and make people watching just that much more, well, MORE.

31 July 2008

hewo there

hey people. it's been a little bit, or, as the kids say in socal, "a hot minute," since i've posted. i haven't been home very much lately. i haven't even seen my roommate in 8 days. weird.

anyway, lots has happened in the biking community. critical mass was last friday, and i managed to avoid it successfully on my way home. yes, on purpose. i just want to get home man. however, an unfortunate CM participant in nyc got tackled by a rookie officer. in case you haven't seen the youtube video all over the internets, here i am to bring it to you.

the cop hadn't been on the force for even a month, and now he's been stripped of his badge while they conduct an investigation. the most egregious thing, and i'm including the linebacker-style tackle, is the officer's own account of what happened. to put it briefly, his statement differs greatly from what you can clearly see on the video.

nytimes brings up this phenomena in an article as video cameras are becoming rather ubiquitous, so are scary pictures that starkly contrast officer reports. first to my mind is the LA may day protest disaster last year. my mom on her cell phone could capture this, just as i could, and just as my 14 year old cousin with his little sidekick3. but not my iphone carrying family member. but i do believe there's an app to adapt the current shoot-only camera. anyway, this relatively new technology of a portable video cameras may just force officers become more accountable in their actions and statements. yes, i know i'm rather hopeful in saying that. i wonder what my DA/PD friends have to say about all this. i shall ask and report back.

but luckily for humanity, but perhaps not for media outlets, the biker is back to work, lacerations and all, and he's refusing to talk to the press. he's got a nice smile, and he works at the farmers market! how effin cute: a guy who likes things i do. and in drama-free packaging. refreshing these days.

an quick aside, i love what the bikesnob has to say about it. of course, he goes on a tangent. he acutely states my exact reasoning for despising crowds (see above and see below). when people would visit me for new years while i lived in nyc, they wanted to go to times square. i would rather poke my eyes out with a rusty heated fire poker and then hear it squish as someone steps on it than be in that crowd. one reason being is that i have to pee often, and that is just a logistical nightmare in such a crowd. but, and, more importantly, because i feel crowd mentality has a sense of crazy instability to it. like anything can happen at anytime and no one knows how anyone is going to react. this is why i despise getting off the train on game day as the train station is right next to the ballpark. the cars and people multiply by literally thousands and you can just sense the CRAZY in the air. i try to get out of that area as fast as i can. i'm even thinking of getting off a stop earlier the next time there is a game just to avoid all that nonsense even if it is quite out of my way.

now i've been away for a reason. my lovely bici was in a minor accident. totally my fault. i was, in a crowd, but this time people needed to be looking after me. i was rather unsteady on my feet walking with the boo. well, i was stumbling next to the boo. the boo was being rather gentlemanly that evening and was walking my bike. we had just seen a movie in the park and we were walking home. there were a lot of people headed in our direction. i stumble into him, he falls, hard, on my bike. i fall on him. where we live, there are lots of driveways just off of the sidewalk. driveways go down slightly. you can fall even if you are paying attention. i was not.

so bici just took a 250+lb pounding. :( she wasn't working very well until today. the boo got it into working order enough so i could take it to work today, a full 5 days later. i noticed it was skipping a gear and there were some strange clickings. so i went to the bike store close to work. thanks god there is one nearby. i have been there before to purchase a soma water bottle (they sell it for cheaper too!!), and they are very friendly. they adjusted the gears a bit and i was back on. as i was riding home i noticed they aren't quite right, so i will probably go back during lunch tomorrow to have them finish what they started.

my newish and pretty handlebar tape is all cut up and full of grease though :(. i think the boo put on some grease when he fixed it. i don't mind the scrape, it's like a scar for bici, and this chick digs scars.

i also purchased a new water bottle. same kind. apparently my water bottle cage was loose one day and i didn't notice. i remember feeling a little bit of water on my leg, but i didn't really think anything of it. turns out my water bottle completely fell out while i was riding down a super busy street to pick up my paycheck. how dangerous! i also can't believe i didn't notice it fall out. but it did. i'm actually wondering if it has anything to do with the plastic actually being a better grade. it's not as flexible, so it wouldn't hug to the sides of the cage as i was riding, but rather just flew out as i presumably went over one of the many large potholes on market street. who knows.

i also picked up something i've been wanting. part of my diabolical plan to be a bike commuter who does NOT wear all black. i can't help it if i have a lot of black clothing. i like it. however, i do want to be seen and after hearing multiple stories of people running red lights and hitting friends on bikes, i just want to be seen. i also don't want to look like a complete dork if i can help it. so i've kept my eye open for a reflective NOT yellow, but bright, but not red, wind/water resistant jacket. the northern california mornings and evenings are rather chilly, slightly misty and as i've mentioned before, the afternoons are definitely windy.

i have said many times i'm 1/2 dude. this dude doesn't mind smelling like outside. in fact, i rather prefer that more natural smell than smelling like some crappy ass perfume. that stuff just makes me sneeze. however, i don't want to entirely smell like BO either, and i've noticed my cotton (black) hoodie does. oops. so out of practicality and vanity (or is it courtesy to others?), i purchase this little number from the bike store. it caught my eye as he was fixing my gears. so i tried it on. it's light, it's bright, it's NOT yellow, and it looks like it wouldn't smell after two days. maybe after a week, but not two days. and...dum da dum dum duuuuum, it's WAY lighter than my cotton hoodie. it's definitely something much brighter that i'm used to wearing, but i guess i don't like to stand out too much. combined w/ the jeans, you might think i had a smile in here somewhere.

i took it for a test ride today on the way home. it was so great. it was windy, of course, didn't feel the cold seeping through the knit of cotton...cause it's not! it was rather warm today in the afternoon, didn't feel hot while wearing it. and, since it's super light, i could also wear it to run. i think this jacket is my new best friend. and even though my job will eventually end, my wearing of this jacket will not since i ride my bike absolutely everywhere.

which brings me to my next topic. i. hate. muni.

i had to resort to buses to get to the train from home/work. both here and there. over there the buses are much better. you know, they actually follow the schedule they provide online. here? nah, they just don't. i have to walk about 10 minutes to catch the street car that goes directly to the station. that's fine w/ me. sure it takes me 10-15 minutes to get to the train by bike, but hey, who's counting?

so i get on the street car. plenty of time to get to the station. i give myself 20 minutes more than i think i need. train leaves at 744. i'm there at 730. oops. guess i left later than usual. train comes. i make the 759. fine.

that night i have dinner with my friend. he waits with me for the bus to take me back to my neighborhood. we probably wait nearly as long as it took us to eat dinner. god. hate muni. all i want to do is sleep.

the next day, i decide i'm going to make the 814 because i figured out how to do this w/o the bike and get to work sort of on time. street car is impossibly slow when i'm on it. the street car gets to the stoplight one turn away from the stop. and when i say one turn, i mean after the stop light, it needs to turn left and there's the station. we are waiting there for 4-5 minutes. i know this because i listened to two songs while waiting. i had had tea, so i was not only suffering from my regular lament over not having my bike and frustration with seeing the train station across the street, but now i had caffeine impatience. that's the WORST. i also tend to have some control issues, but seriously. it was 8:09 when we stopped at the light. i was already anxious then because the train was taking a long time at certain stops. here i could see the train station, where i wanted to be, the stop which was across the street, and we were in the middle of both. i couldn't go anywhere and just saw the minutes click silently away on my ipod. when we finally get moving, i see the train roll away. i get on the 819. it leaves 5 minutes later, but gets there about 15 minutes after my other train because it's not a local. grrrrrrrrrrr. pulling hair out frustrated!
believe me. i'm a strong believer/advocate of public transportation. it just has to work efficiently and effectively. but catching a bus to a train has too many variables that even waking up early can't ensure that one will get to work on time!

so, while bici and i were apart, i got to thinking, what if someone steals bici or she gets in an accident i can't save her from? what would i do? first of all, i would hope to be able to buy a new bike. but which one you ask?

well, if i had to...i would get a mixte frame. i'm very short. frames are hard to come by. getting easier, but still hard. mixtes are basically extremely sturdy step through bikes.

mixtes are just friggin cool, and very me. mixte means unisex in french. um, yes. i'm 1/2 dude, 1/2 chick. i would get either moustache handlebars or bullhorns. i rarely use my drops to their full potential. but i only know that from riding around so much. i would probably either get the same seat i have now or see what all this brooks fuss is about. i would also like to try out making it a single speed (as seen in the bullhorn pic). but i would also take a 10-12 speed one as well. beggars can't be choosy. oh, and it has to be used. there's an absolutely stunning one that is new and close to me, but, um, it's also $1600. that's JUST the frame, fork and headset. sigh. besides, i said i like scars...old bikes have got em.

point is: my love, bici, and i are reunited. i love my new cycling/running/you-can-see-me jacket. i hope my new water bottle stays in the cage. oh, and my boo knows how to take care of me and my bici.

24 July 2008


the creative juices have not stopped flowing. i think it helps to have a teeny bit of money to help bring these products to life.

i used to live alone before i moved in with the calimexican. in that place i had coral and pink walls inspired by a domino color combo suggestion. from the first issue if i'm not mistaken. i still have it.

i want a sari-inspired fabric to be my new curtain. help bring the room together. right now it looks like puzzle pieces from 5 different sets.

these ladies will help me out. god i heart craft and make.

an accident. not mine.

ran into the fire fighter ambulance on the way home. saw what looked like a car-pedestrian accident. an middle aged man was on the ground, his neck in a brace, being lifted by the EMT...by his head. i'm sure it was to straighten him out, since he was laying on his left side, and put him on the stretcher.

what will stay with me for a long time is not the gore, because there wasn't any. it was the look on his face. i hope never to encounter that look on someone's face ever again. i have never seen someone in so much physical pain. and because he was older, the lines all over his face only helped to exaggerate the expression underneath.

one cyclist stayed staring as the light turned green. the car behind him inched forward and seemed like he might have his own incident. i, however, did not want to see that horrible scene anymore. and i just saw it for a second. a very long second in my life in which i happened to turn my head and observe someone else's pure agony.

i continued on. saw another ambulance roaring through the next major intersection. they were not going in his direction. they were going to someone else's.

i was really glad to make it home in one piece today. seemed like crazy was looming over the city. i'm in for the night. watching project runway and making some music while sipping some wine sounds just about all i can take at the moment.

22 July 2008

fat lite

so on saturday i attended a festival of bikes and beer in the park. it was a rather dreary day...very typical for a northern california summer. yay. anyway, so i convinced a bike-riding, park-loving friend to join. i told him there was free bike valet parking so he wouldn't have to worry about his new bike and that there would also be free tune-ups. obvs, he didn't need to take advantage of that, but i certainly did. i got my derailleurs adjusted. the mechanic said it would "feel a million times better," and it does. thanks bike guy.

there are few things i love more than parks, bikes and beer, so this was a no brainer for me. it was a family event, full of bike art, strange bikes you can ride and really really bad performances. there was a LOT of beer since it was hosted by a brewing company. but as the website said, it was a festival of bikes with beer, not vice versa. and everyone was rather well behaved. bravo urbanites. bravo.

now, my main complaint is that the attendees were rather, um, pale. as much as i love bikes, i love diversity more. i could probably count on two hands the people of color that were in attendance. ok, that's an exaggeration, but it's not really that much of one. :( i could talk about this for awhile, so i will stop myself here before i get off on a tangent.

SO, the real reason i wanted to talk about the event. the event is a yearly fundraiser for the bike advocacy group i recently joined. the site said it was a green event, that it was solar powered and that even though they had 6700 attendees in 2007, they only sent TWELVE (12) pounds of trash to the landfill. my roommate and i probably go through 12 pounds every 5 days. and that's just 2 of us. that is not counting the recyclables we sort out. unfortunately although our city provides a composting pick up service, our landlords do not. what is it, like 12 bucks a month at most? considering there are 12 people living in this building, i don't think it's that much of a cost to them...anyway.

how did the event do this you ask? well, what they did was divide your trash into three separate bins: compostables, recyclables, and trash. they had "compost outlets" which were booths where you could throw away your stuff and had a person directing you where to put what.

this is such a simple idea and absolutely should be mandatory in not only all public events in the park, but all over the state, the country, the world.

in northern california, most likely there would be people willing to volunteer for this job at public events. i would even say that for maybe 10-15 years while people get used to distributing the trash on their own. we can only hope that this mentality will pick up and become popular. i really don't see how it could difficult to do.

btw, in the port-a-potty quad, there were those makeshift sinks with paper towels. they had the green compostable bin right there. unmanned.

also, the plastic beer cups. made out of corn. compostable.

17 July 2008

life anew part two

this past year i've been dealing with a large loss in my life. a few days ago the birthday of this person happened, and elle gave me a good idea on how to honor it.

i've talked a bit before about my lover-ly beautiful babies, two little cilantro seedlings and some seedlings of yet as undetermined nature. the other day i noticed some MOLD growing on my undetermined seedling twins. i'm not exactly sure how they got there, but i have an idea that someone put some bread toppings in my planters. i normally wouldn't mind, but, um, they are in planters, not in proper soil outside w/ worms to compost that nonsense.

anyway. the mold wasn't out of control and it wasn't anything i couldn't rectify.

i was feeling rather down on the 14th and was talking to elle. she suggested i plant some flowers. since she and have shared part of a brain for the better part of the past 12 years or so, i blinked quickly and the (fluroescent) light bulb turned on. how she knows these things even though a million words, pictures and 3k miles separate us, i will never know. i relayed the above story to elle and told her i wanted to repot them. although not a flower, it is certainly extremely close. and that can be a lasting tribute to my loved one.

i had two 4 inch pots each w/ the cilantro seedlings. then i had the other two undetermined surprise seedlings (although i know they will eventually turn out to be any or all of the following: parsley, thyme, sage and chive) in a 4in pot and the other in an 8in. the latter two ones were looking a little sad and it made me wonder if their seeds were old when i got them. don't know if that makes a difference or not.

so this is what i did: i consolidated the two cilantro seedlings and put them in the 8 in pot. i made sure to take out the other seedling along w/ all the moldy dirty VERY carefully. :( the seedling seemed so weak. so i put it in seedling ICU (read: the wooden step of our fire escape) and went to work on saving the strong ones. when i pulled the cilantro ones, the first one to sprout was weak, but tall and with very good root growth. i kept telling her what a good baby she was and that she was going to be cold for only a second. then i pulled her younger sister out and noticed her root growth was not as healthy. this concerned me a bit, but i think she will be ok. i put her on top of her older sister and readied the pot. i put them in, did some pruning, tried to make them stay up straight, and then went to work on the other ones.

the other two are in much worse shape. their roots are small, very sad. so i put them together in a 4in pot. because i noticed that they may not make it, or it will be a long road to recovery if they do, i decided to use the other 4in pot to plant some new seeds that came from the same bunch.

so that is what i did to honor my loved one. i think it's rather fitting metaphorically, and definitely rather healing for me. the memory of love and the cycle of life goes on through my seedling babies.

today's status: cilantro ones have stood up tall, are greener and appear fuller. more pruning. success. the other ones? the same. no pruning. it was a good start to the morning.


14 July 2008

vids and link lovin'

here are some videos i've been watching lately...

how cute is he?! i think i have a new additional friend crush.

and then for more inspirations from ms. diaz. it lit a light bulb in my head. i think it's a fluorescent one too since it's been awhile since any light went off up there. my head is all green and crunchy just like northern california. and i don't mean in the moldy white dreads kind of way either. just think about it already.

also have to give a shout out to my homegirl, askachola cause she gave me some love on her bloggy blog by linking me. thanks homie. here's one right back for you. oh, and esa, don't kill me cause i burn green fluorescent, ok? orale pues.

also, one last shout out to blabbeando cause not only did he give me some link lovin', he put an "!" by my name. um, awesome. thanks, i'm blushing...super cute.

12 July 2008

the beast

i'm actually surprised more art hasn't been made out of this very serious and far reaching subject. sure, there are more immediate things that certainly warrant our attention, but this one is the quiet beast that dares not speak until it relentlessly calls you... this video is kind of long imho, but me likey anyway.

The Beast That Swallows Its Young from Matt Kresling on Vimeo.

i found it while searching the internet for spin offs of my favorite band of 2007, los abandoned. RIP. but looks like front lady pilar diaz is up to great things. i can't wait to see more from her. i totes have a friend crush on her. let's be friends lady p. what do you say? ;)

also, not that i don't usually wish this, but even more so i wish i was in nyc this weekend. the LAMC is going on and why oh why can't i be there discovering new bands in person?!

11 July 2008


two city folk see some really big trees.

10 July 2008

new legs

lately i've been noticing that the desk job is not helping my 2008 goal of staying healthy and in a reasonable weight. i wake up, ride, sit, eat, sit, eat, walk a bit, sit, ride, tired. that's pretty much my day in a nutshell. so when i realized that i could add two more rides into my day based on that one fluke chance of missing the train, i jumped on it.

while very bored at work i calculated how long my commute is each day. 7.6 miles. this is broken up into 4 parts. and with traffic and all i can spend up to 40 minutes to an hour on my bike. that makes me happy. i average about 40 miles a week for the past two weeks. that's just commuting. since i ride my bike everywhere as it is my main method of transportation, i can assume it's perhaps 50 miles average a week i ride. some people do that in a day or two. but since it's double what i was doing even just 2 weeks ago, i wont be so hard on myself. also, i've noticed a difference already. riding more and finally getting my fruit back is all i needed to see some immediate changes. not bad, not bad. laying off the beer has helped a bit too. :)

am working on a video of when the boo and i went to see some really big trees. i'll probably have a 30 second teaser trailer done by tonight. an ambitious goal, but i'm really hoping to get that done in a few...

08 July 2008

and they begin...

so i finally got the requisite question from my coworkers yesterday. "wow, do you really ride your bike to work?" yes, but from the train station... "every day?" yes. "wow, i wish i could do that, that's such good exercise. but i wont." i was wearing a skirt and the guy coworker that i know actually does ride a bike but for fancy things looked at it then at me and asked, "did you get changed at work? cause i don't think i would ride in my skirt." haha, very funny. we did all laugh.

there's another bike commuter in my building. has a very cute bike. i met him a few weeks ago at the train station where he recognized my bike and asked me where i got my sticker. i told him from my fav store, but that they are all around SF and he could try the web if he couldn't find it. he said he would rather buy locally. who can argue w/ that?

anyway, today i ran back out to get my water bottle b/c i forgot it on my cage. he was just getting in and he said, "i just love your bike. i admire it every day." awww. i blushed and said, thank you. i like your bike too. breezers are so cute. he said, "thanks." i really do like his bike. it's a breezer, the ultimate commuters dream. it's got fenders, racks galore, but still shiny and new looking. he also has a huge sign on it saying something along the lines of "bikers are a statement against the oil wars." i believe he has a one less car sticker on his helmet too. i personally like my zero per gallon. says pretty much the same thing as his larger sign, and much more efficiently.

the compliment has me all smiles still. :)

06 July 2008

big guy on a small bike

i saw this from one of the many bike blogs i read daily. i just discovered this particular blog, so i was a little late in seeing this, but definitely keeps in tune with the bike love i have a lot of...


well, the embed code doesn't seem to be working, so above is the link.

i do believe the next bike purchase is a cable lock to use along with the very good U-lock i have so i am not as paranoid as i was the other day when i had to run an errand to the bank. i was so paranoid that i almost misplaced one of my biking gloves at the bank and kept looking around like a crazy person for it. i did misplace my pen, but take one, leave one. i can get another one.

thanks goodness the cable should be about 10 bucks or less. i'll have to see if my fav store has it. i haven't visited those guys in awhile. they are good peeps, and i hear they have a small following here, so i'm pretty sure it's here to stay. :)


the boo and i just came back from spending more than 72 hours together on a mini vaycay roadtrip up in humboldt county california. we went to see the "world renowned" redwoods. the trip was fantastic. my memories will last, however, camcorder batteries do not. we were hiking in the rockerfeller forest and spent quite some time there in the morning. then when we drove to the place where you can drive your car through a tree, the batteries went out. so i only have 1/2 a day of film, but like i said, a lifetime of memories. aww.

we stayed in a bed and breakfast inn in ferndale, which is quite off the main strip of 101, and we did not know this, but got used to the little trip back and forth. surprisingly to me, the weather reminded me of the sunset neighborhood in san francisco. in retrospect, i don't know why this did surprise me since it was pretty much the southern part of the pacific northwest, but there you go. it was foggy and grey, but having spent quite some time in northern california, we were both used to the fog and thankfully were both dressed appropriately.

there are lots of stories to tell. watching fireworks in the fog, lighting fireworks ourselves, driving around to black sand beaches, seeing restored old town eureka, and of course, those magnificent redwoods. i heard stories about how when he was younger, his parents and friends of theirs would travel with all of their kids in a caravan (his parents' choice of transportation was a red and white VW bus) and would travel up to the redwoods and camp. he said he was running among the giants while he was in diapers. the mental image of that definitely put a smile on my face as we drove through the tunnel the trees kept over the long stretch of highway 101.

we were both excited to go and "see some trees," and it's eye opening how beautiful that part of northern california is, and actually rather inspring. i could see how writers could live a nearly solitary existenece in a log cabin up there. and, as a friend of mine said when i told him what i was doing this weekend, he could understand how people can be pagan and worship those huge living beings.

but the part we will be able to show is forthcoming, i have a few projects on the stove, so once i get going, i can being to multitask. for the moment, i will just have to leave you with that post.

also, didn't get to go mountain biking as i had hoped we would, but got enough information that the next time we go, we know where to go :)

in the meantime, have a good night and i'm off to do some chores. for the record, i'm tired from driving all day (yeah, i know, i don't get it either), but very happy.

01 July 2008

life anew

what inspires you? lately my tap has been out of service. i have lots of ideas, but they never come to fruition due to lack of desire. lately there have been some life episodes that have caused the long ago familiar feeling of needing to get something out of me and into the world.

i have always liked bold lines, geometric shapes and strongly contrasting, yet complementary, colors. i have always been very into paper cut outs. i have an intense and unhealthy like for sharp utensils which involve precise cutting of paper.

i don't know why i like these things. i've always been drawn to paper cut outs. i think i like the negative space, and how it connects the bold and purposefully drawn lines.

i saw this post the other day and an idea came to me immediately spawned by the general heartacheyness i was feeling due to a week-long fight with the boo. it was kind of overwhelming how perfect the picture i had in my head was and with nothing to show for it. and for going on two days it's been aching to become reality.

i had to purchase a few things in order to make this vision a reality, including pencils, paper, self healing mat. i once had a mat but it now belongs to a former boo, a thought that did cross my mind as i bought this one today. i guess boos inspire me, and i guess that usually makes me want to cut things on cushioned vinyl. as i sat down tonight to put pencil on paper, i realized i need just one more thing before i put in the hours that it will take for me to do this project. just one more type of paper and possibly some tape, then the cutting will commence.

i really wanted to get it done before this weekend. i think that just means i wanted it done right away, but i have to be patient. i plan on giving it to the boo, but i'm not sure he'll like it. however, that is not the point. the point is he inspires me to think of weird things, to write long letters and to put these weird things and letters into a cohesive and tangible object. it is up to him if he wants to keep the object. if no, then i will gladly keep it and display it.

staring at the sun and going blind

things i've noticed lately while riding my bike. it seems like the gender disparity (at least from what i have observed from my own eyes) is huge. looks like we have a ways to go ladies before we can count our numbers up with the guys. in the commuter train i take every day i see myself and maybe two other girls. i've seen as much as 7ish, mostly less though. the train holds 32 bikes. that's consistently less than 1/3 female. just like everything else i seem to like to do, i've found myself in a boy's club. evidence of my 1/2 dudeness yet again.

however, since boys don't know i'm 1/2 dude, they just feel the need to pass me up. to me, it's the equivalent of cutting me off. here's why: riding in traffic, we go as fast as the cars do, and inevitably, i will catch up to you or once you pass me, you slow down and that's rather annoying. i look instead at yourr ass (yes, i do), your clothes, your bike, or at how you are pedaling. i don't know where the fire is, especially going north, so why don't you just resist trying to cut me off. now, i really don't mind if you are truly a better biker than me, i know i'm just learning, but if you cut me off and then proceed to ride right in front of me, it's dangerous because my front wheel really really likes to be mischevious and just may accidentally hit the back of your rear wheel, and then that would be very very messy for all of us.

so i guess as the saying goes, "boys will be boys." however, i've never been one to enjoy that saying since i'm a strong believer in gender being taught and forever conditioned. to paraphrase the nytimes article redefining the concept of mid life crisis, "maybe he's just an asshole." yeah, i like that one better. seems to fit.

also, when there's a group of at least 5 guys at an intersection, it seems to go like this. 1/2 of them have the bike messenger look (whether they are or not is a completley different story), which usually is code for "get the hell out of my way." then there will be the seasoned bike commuter who is generally respectful and brightly colored just so you don't ever miss his presence. then there will be the newbie commuter (hi guys) or two. and then me, the female commuter of color (talk about several minority groups in that adjective laden phrase). so, "boys being assholes" will inevitably all ride in front of me even as we're stopped at a light. since i don't really care about being first anywhere, i'm more concerned with not falling and showing up on time and in one piece. this means i don't care about all that nonsense, but yes, i notice. back to the light turning green. it's that newbie and slightly overweight commuter that i can confidently pass. and when i do, they speed up (and then [see above]) because god forbid i emasculate him while riding a bike for transportation purposes. oh how how how annoying.

as for the venting. i had to yell at a lot of cars today. one was in the morning, and two were in the evening. unfortunately, today's commute was not as pleasant as it usually is, and i feel as frustrated as if i had been sitting in rush hour traffic in a car. and when on my last leg of my trip i saw car exhaust lighting up the sky with a gray haze, i knew i just wanted to be home. gulping exhaust while going up a hill is not pleasant at all. please tune up your car or don't drive.

27 June 2008


of commuting include:

1. observing a sausage fest on the bike car of the commuter train every morning and wondering, "where da girls at?"
2. observing the sausage fest get noticeably more attractive the closer to the end of the week it is.
3. observing the bright colors of the adidas shoe of someone sitting behind you and seeing his hairy leg because it's his right leg (pants are rolled up)
4. observing the same person having his bike right next to mine on the rack and he's getting off at the same station.
5. observing that my breath is getting harder to take in as i realize said same person strongly resembles, and is more attractive than, a certain mexican movie star/actor, both with gorgeous green eyes, only the one before me now is much taller.
6. observing that his outfit looks a lot like his bike. anyone who has red handlebar tape on a slate blue bike and reading the new yorker can't be all bad. right?
7. observing that said gorgeous human who should procreate often before he leaves this world takes the same route as i do up to a certain point.

8. wondering if this human is always on the 8:14 because i've never noticed this prior to today.
9. knowing that it's just fun to think about cause i already have a boo.

and finally,

10. observing that this woman about to start her period on a friday afternoon is just not up to riding her bike and then gets to the bike car, sees the enormous sausage fest, and is the only one to stand with her bike b/c the racks are over capacity and wonders, "where da girls at?"

and on that note... off to ride bici to food and merriment. absolutely no train schedules of which to adhere. slow and steady...

and we're off.

24 June 2008

day two

so my legs are definitely working harder elsewhere than just above the knee. i'm trying my new riding technique and they are feeling a difference. they are pumping faster and lighter which makes me breath a little faster. now my legs are feeling it in the middle front of my thigh working towards my inner thigh. that part is an area i wanted to focus on, but have trouble doing so, so it gets neglected. yay for experimenting!

i am glad today is over. i look forward to sleeping and starting a new summer day.

23 June 2008

tip numero uno

i've been meaning to write this since my laguna honda days that were oh so long ago, but two of my obsessions don't "mesh well" as cher from clueless would say. just say no to lipgloss before riding a bit. for me it's hard to break the compulsive habit i have of putting on lip gloss every time i have a spare second.

until lil bugs got stuck on the lip gloss on my lips as i rode. um...ew!

needless to say, after that happened a few times, it was easier to break that habit just before a ride. so just do yourself a favor, just dont do it. thanks.

tip number two:

when you have sore muscles from riding, just take some aspirin already.

background: quite simple. i ride every day. coming back home after work is always more difficult than in the morning because it's slightly uphill with a very strong crosswind. i've almost ran into another biker who was passing me due to the strong wind tunnel at a particular downtown intersection. ugh. i do loathe that one, but once i'm past it, it's pretty much a smooth ride from there.

so last week was rushing home to meet up with a friend for dinner. i tried to keep up with this biker in front of my who was pretty good. he went very fast up and through the crosswind. he smoked me pretty quickly, and all i got was sore thighs for 4 days. yesterday i told myself i had had enough, and took some aspirin to help with the pain.

as such, i did some research on cycling techniques since whatever i was doing was clearly not working for me. turns out i think i was riding in a higher gear than i should have been, especially considering the wind. so instead of "lifting weights" to get bulky (shudder), i am going to try to pedal faster on an easier gear for more endurance. funny, i've been riding pretty much every day since the beginning of february, and there's still sooo much to learn. i like the challenge. just miss one of my better riding buddies. maybe he'll come back soon.

the only thing about pedaling faster is that in a city, with city traffic conditions, i just have to be more careful about stopping and being aware of things around me. i am careful already, but i'll have to be even more so since i will be concentrating a lot the first few days on HOW i'm riding rather than where i'm riding.

so here's to "swimming" v "power lifting." i also think it will have the added benefit of burning more fat and elongating muscles, but we'll see. i'll keep you posted.

17 June 2008

this moment's beauty is blinding and unsurpassed

well folks. this is a tale of two weddings. one of a close friend and one of someone i don't even know.

i don't cry easily. i used to, but the fountains have been turned off and have yet to be turned back on. so when i saw the wedding of the former and i didn't squeeze out a tear like i thought i might, i wasn't quite surprised. it was beautiful, and was told in the language of a culture i don't really know, but i do like their food. and they love to dance. so that was fun. it was just a fun wedding full of laughs and smiles, but no tears of joy. the bride did choke up twice, but that was the closet i saw/heard to tears. however, not to invalidate the ceremony at all, i'm glad that they have found each other, but it wasn't an earth shattering experience. it was very fitting to the time and the moment. a grand ol' party to celebrate two families merging. that's nice. very nice. and i'm happy for her.

the latter comes to us via the san francisco chronicle. in case you were in a cave for the past month, and hey, who isn't from time to time, then you know california is now the 2nd state in the nation to allow same sex marriages to be legal. today was the first full day of celebration and plenty of people on both sides of the issue showed up and bombarded city halls up and down the lower 1/2 of the west coast of the us of a.

the sf chronicle has a profile online of some of the people getting married today. it's not quite the nytimes society caliber of wedding announcements, but i do believe instead of the times oozing pretention, this one was much more laid back and more sincere in its efforts to show the profiles of people getting married today. they had the requisite media gay couples. i don't mean that to sound catty, but rather literal in that two of those couples were plaintiffs in what would turn out to be the landmark decision handed down by the CASC a month ago. they are always front and center for gay events, and the few times i've been in the pride march, i've met the (male) couple. they are really nice and are always dressed in their tuxes. i guess that shows they are serious about being taken seriously? i don't know. anyway, the female couple i haven't heard of much less met. jezebel posted a pic of them and that was the first time tears sprang to my eyes in months. i have a few ideas why, but just to see the love that is oozing sincerely through that pic onto the LED pixels of my monitor was just enough to make me think: FUCKING FINALLY!! the other part of me was thinking that how can people who are against same sex marriage be so mean (to put it childishly)? to see this couple who undeniably love each other so much that it just shows on their faces and their eyes aren't even open, how could anyone deny them the happiness they desire? the other part of me that welled up knew what it was like to feel that love at one point in my life. to have a picture taken just at the right moment, when your eyes are locked in the other's, totally oblivious to what is going on, huge chomping smiles on both of your faces. i feel lucky to have felt that at all in my young life, and i wouldn't want others to try to tell me what i can and cannot do with the person i love.

one story in particular got me to the point where tears were rolling down my face. this was after reading about 20 profiles. two men who have been together for 13 years had this to say to the chronicle:

The men have a 17-year-old daughter. "I've always told her I would marry her father the first minute I could and that's today at 8:30 a.m.," Akin said. "I've heard people say this is the happiest day of your life, and it is -- until tomorrow."

jeebuuuuussss. how could anyone with a beating heart not find that just at least the little bit touching? that was so beautiful, if totally cheesy, but this time i'm not lactose intolerant. i'm taking it in for the beautiful sentiment that it really is.

and, all of this is rather ironic for me since i'm not a fan of the institution of marriage. however, a lifehacker blogger who got married today had this to say, which i utterly respect from one woman to another:

"For the record, I *know* that marriage is a lame institution rooted in religion (I'm an atheist) and patriarchy. BUT, my parents had a great marriage—I watched my Dad come home from work and kiss my Mom hello every evening 34 years into it, genuinely happy to see her—and I wanted that same thing with Terra. (And that's IT—as mushy as I'm getting! Shutting up now!)"

i say redefining marriage can't be a bad thing. look at how well it's been up until now. it can only get better.


a few weeks ago in the nytimes magazine, the former mayor of bogota colombia gave an interview. enrique penalosa. he's my hero, and i think that he and i share a lot of the same political ideology. very interesting. i look forward to researching more about him. my choice favorite quote:

nyt: You were probably the only socialist at Duke.

ep: I eventually realized, of course, that socialism was a failure as an economic system. Yet equality is not dead. Socialism is dead, but equality as a goal is not dead.

um, yes. my hero. continuing on...

the streetfilms people in nyc got a chance to go to bogota and here is a little piece they made about the ciclovia. also, yesterday nyc announced that it is going to close off some streets this summer based on the popularity of bogota's ciclovia and similar street closings in london and paris.

16 June 2008

ISFP strikes again...

so during lunch i was reading about this new book that determines what kind of workout regimen people are likely to stick to based on their myer briggs personality type. as previously described, i'm an ISFP. the author assigns colors based on certain shared characteristics of two of the 16 types, resulting in 8 color schemes. my personality falls under GREEN. i don't think green happens to mean outdoors for the author as other colors also like outdoorsy pursuits. however, the description is funnily accurate because i do tend to like outdoors activities a lot when i get a chance to try them. i sucked at snowboarding, but loved trying it out and if had the means, i would be out there often. i am good at using oars in a canoe. who knew? and...as i've also described before, i like riding my bike to work or around town primarily b/c i kill two birds with one stone, as opposed to an exercise bike or spinning classes. if i belonged to a gym, i would take spinning classes to help me prepare for the lovely hills of northern california. now, with that in mind, please read some choice descriptions of GREEN personalities.

Greens are highly attuned to and observant of the physical world around them. Their profound attention to detail and their outstanding orienting skills influence all aspects of what they do and when they do it. Minimalists at heart, their demeanor is understated, quiet, and unobtrusive. In groups, Greens tend toward the background, preferring others to take the lead in social interactions.

um, yes. that is me. and i do rather excel in reading maps. let's continue.

With their reserved demeanor, they are quiet observers of the physical world. Nature is their nature. Their natural physicality inclines Greens to maintain a baseline of fitness, which they prefer to do outdoors or through activities of daily living, such as yard maintenance, parking a mile from their office, or using the stairs instead of elevators.

or...let's say...biking to work or for errands...

Incorporating a regimented training program into their lives is unlikely to happen without a specific purpose—such as getting in shape to fully enjoy a favorite outdoor activity, or achieving a prized goal, like being part of a climbing or backpacking expedition. In these cases Greens will use gyms and equipment to increase their stamina for an outdoor challenge that is important to them.

note my prior posts on doing yoga to supplement my biking...

Too much inside time is stressful for Greens. Getting outside gives them an opportunity to clear their minds and wrestle with the energizing and calming challenges of nature.

here i tend to disagree with the first sentence. i love being indoors and spending time with myself. however, i also love spending time outside (note prior posts on things i've loved as a kid: biking to a park to read), and i def agree with the 2nd sentence and have had that very discussion w/ the boo.

so i'm intrigued by this spoonful of analysis of my preferred workout habits, but i doubt i would buy the book. i may, however, ride to a local bookstore to sit and read the chapter about me... ;)